An Overdue Post About An Underbaked Bun (aka Jackson's Early Arrival)

Since my last post, life has gone absolutely bananas. After our first trip to the hospital from the front ending, I ended up back in the hospital 2 other times with preterm labor. Both times they were able to stop it with meds but the last trip on February 3^rd landed me exactly where I didn’t want to be….bedrest. But I was willing to do what I needed to do to take care of this baby so off to bed I went. Well, maybe not as much as I should have. I suddenly felt the nursery needed to be in order. We got the majority of it done over that weekend and it was a good thing we did. Monday, February 7^th, I didn’t feel great so I just kept napping on and off all day. To top it off, our heat went out so it was a good thing I stayed in bed so I didn’t freeze. After Dave came home from work, his dad came over to help with the heat. I decided to take a bath to try to warm up. When I got out, I felt something coming out of me as I walked down the hall. I will be the first to admit this pregnancy has caused me to have a lapse in bladder control but this felt different. I tried not to freak out as I walked up and down the hall a few more times to make sure I was feeling what I thought. My water had broke. I called the doctor and she told me to go the hospital because if my water had broken, she would induce me because the baby would be more likely to get an infection if we left him in. Keep in mind I’m 34 weeks and 6 days pregnant at this point. So much for bedrest working. I calmly called Dave to our room and tell him not to panic but I think my water’s broken. His response is a shrill, “What do we do?” We were both kind of teary eyed at that point because we knew it was too soon. I told him we needed to pack a bag and go to the hospital. Once we gained our composure, we load into the truck and start calling parents. I was scared to death. Scared about the safety of my baby, scared at the thought of labor, scared of all of it. We arrive at the hospital around 7pm. I’m taken back to a room and given a test to see if the fluid I’m passing is amniotic fluid. Jackpot! It was go time. The doctor came to talk to me and see if I was dilated. I was 2 cm. She told me that NICU would be in the room during delivery and Jackson’s breathing would decide if he needed to go to NICU or could go to the regular nursery. Luckily, she had given me steroid shots to develop his lungs the previous week when I came in with preterm labor so now we would see if it paid off. My nurse got me hooked up to the dreaded IV and the pitocin was started to induce my labor. I was already starting to contract on my own since my water broke but the pitocin would get things rocking. All the parents arrived by 10pm and I was starting to feel more contractions. They weren’t as bad as the ones I had the previous week but they were coming pretty close together. Since I’m not one for pain. I decided to go ahead and get my epidural around 11pm. This was the part I dreaded more than the delivery itself. A big fat needle going into my spine. Dave stayed with me and I tried to relax as best I could. It took 3 tries before she finally got it in. She just kept saying I needed to relax. Ugh..yea right. I will say that not being able to feel the lower half of your body is the weirdest thing ever. The nurse checked me again and I was 2.5 cm. A whopping half cm change in over 4 hours. Unfortunately, I had a reaction from getting so worked up about the needle and the epidural itself so my blood pressure tanked to 55 over 30. I felt it coming and was able to tell the nurse and Dave. At that point, they cut the pitocin off until I stabilized. The next couple of hours were a blur until I got my head back on straight. They finally started the pitocin again around 1:30am. The nurse checked me again at 2:15am and I was a whopping 3 cm. Dr. Miller had said it would be over in the day Tuesday but I never thought it would be that slow. Dave and I decide to try to rest at that point. Easier said than done. Right about the time I would doze off, the stupid blood pressure cuff would go off. It did that every 15 minutes. Around 4:15am, I started feeling funny. There was a ton of pressure. I told the nurse I either needed to go to the bathroom or my epidural was wearing off. She checked me and I was 9.5 cm. I was shocked. I moved at the speed of light in 2 hours. I think Dave’s words were, “Sweet Jesus!” He starts calling parents to tell them it’s time and to come back to the hospital. Everyone had disbanded to get some rest since Dr. Miller said it would probably be over in the day except the moms, who were holding down the lobby. Dr. Miller showed up around 5am and I start pushing. After a few rounds of pushing, I feel the most intense pressure I have ever felt. I had to get this baby out. I give what Dave’s refers to as my T-rex growl and it’s over. At 5:26am on February 8th, Jackson David Wicker makes his entrance into the world. I glance down and briefly see him as the doctor hands him off to the NICU. I felt so tired at that point but I was waiting to hear that cry. After about 20 seconds, I hear the sound I was waiting for. Then I hear all of the nurses kind of screaming. He was peeing all over them. That’s my boy. The NICU gave him the all clear which was a huge relief to us. The actual delivery really was the weirdest thing I have ever felt. I almost felt out of body with what I had just done. I never thought I would be able to make it through. Dave was awesome. I had worried he would pass out but he was right there, cheering me on the entire time. Once Dr. Miller got me all cleaned up, I was finally able to hold my son for a few minutes. The feelings that overcame me are something I can never put into words. Finally getting to meet this person who I had tried to protect all those months and would continue to try to protect for the rest of my life was a surreal experience. Here was our baby. The one we wanted so much and thought we might never have. He was early but he was okay. How lucky were we? After getting to hold him for a few minutes, they took Jackson to the nursery to get cleaned up and weighed. I got moved to a postpartum room and waited to see my child again. They brought him to me around 7:30 and announced he weighed 6 pounds 5 ounces. What?! This kid was 5 weeks early and he weighed that much? Maybe it was a blessing I didn’t go 40 weeks or our gi-baby prediction would have come true.

After all was said and done, I was a little disappointed about a few things that happened. First, it was the wrong month. I do wish I could have carried him closer to term but he had other plans. I wish he could have been placed on my belly after delivery and that Dave could have cut the cord. But these things were not meant to be. In the grand scheme of things, they don’t matter at all. What matters is that our son arrived safely and is healthy, albeit early and big. Thus began our journey into parenthood that you will hear more about in the weeks to come. February 8, 2011 was a day that changed my life forever. I will never be able to thank God enough for that.

Toastingly Yours,

Tales of a Gi-Baby

A Gi-Baby (pronounced Ja Baby) is the term we came up with to combine giant baby after our 28 week ultrasound. It seems as though our little boy is going to be a hoss. He weighed in at 2 lbs 13 oz which is almost a lb more than normal. Eek! I've never expected to have a small baby. I weighed 8 lb 4 oz and Dave weighed 8 lb 6 oz so I've always planned an 8 or 9 pounder. But if Jackson continues as this rate and I go to 40 wks, we're looking at an 11 lb baby. No thank you! I'm scheduled for another ultrasound this Friday so I'm anxious to see how much he's grown.

We also have a comparison measurement at 30 wks thanks to our front ending. What is a front ending you might ask? Well, on New Year's Eve Eve (aka Dec. 30th), we went out to run errands and I just had to have something to eat so into the Wendy's drive thru we pulled. We're sitting there waiting in line with 2 or 3 cars in front of us. All of a sudden, I see the white van in front of us flash on the reverse lights. I yell for Dave to move and he tried but not quick enough. So this guy slams into us. He jumps out saying he didn't see us. If you've seen Dave's car, how do you miss a bright blue FJ Cruiser? Once he sees I'm pregnant, he starts freaking out. Dave tries to calm him down and exchange insurance info. Meanwhile, I call the doctor's office to see what I should do. At first they tell me to just watch for decreased movement, cramping, etc. so I hang up. Not 2 minutes later, they call back and tell me because I'm 30 wks I need to go to labor & delivery in case the seat belt caused a tear in my placenta because I would likely not have symptoms. Whoa horsey! Stop the bus. I was not expecting that. So I calmly tell Dave we need to go to the hospital. He finishes with insurance info and off we go. I was trying to remain calm but on the way it hit me, something could be wrong with my child and I immediately burst into tears. If you know me, you know I'm not a crier so this is pretty unusual. After some deep breaths, I pull it together.

Once we make it to the hospital, I check in and get hooked up to all the monitors. All was looking well or so I thought. After about an hour the nurse comes in with an IV (needles are my phobia because I'm such a hard stick). It took .2 seconds for me to start wigging out again. Apparently I was having contractions and didn't even know it. So in hopes it was just from being dehydrated, they stab me with the IV and run a bag of fluids. Luckily, this takes care of the problem. Boy, did I feel like a moron to not even know I was contracting. While I was waiting for the fluids to go in, they came in to do an ultrasound to check my placenta. Again we were blessed with the all clear. However, we did find out that in less than 2 weeks, my child was now weighing in at 3 lbs 15 oz. That's over a pound more!! I'm telling you peeps, it's a gi-baby in there.

Moral of the story is that simple errands can turn into a nightmare. Always be thankful for what you have in the moment. I've been blessed with a great pregnancy so far. The thought that something as stupid as a front ending might hurt my child made me realize just how much I love him and we haven't even met yet. I never knew I had those kind of feelings in me. Since all worked out okay, I'm now thankful that God showed me I am capable of loving my child more than I could have imagined. Until next time.

Toastingly Yours,

Oh Boy!

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, October 22, 2010 brought us the news that we are expecting a son. I have been saying boy for several weeks now mainly due to the fact everyone we know is having a girl. Dave has said girl from day 1. He has never been so excited to be wrong in his life. And so, Jackson David, will be coming into our lives sometime mid-March 2011. He’s measuring right on target and his anatomy scan showed everything was developing as it should be. I feel very blessed that our tiny miracle is thriving.

Now to the fun stuff. After agreeing we wouldn’t start buying stuff now that we know the gender, we made it all of one day on the embargo. The Target clearance rack was calling our names.

As far as the nursery, I have some fabric picked out but don’t want to share it just yet. I am not a traditional person so I wanted Jack to have something different and that would last longer than the newborn stage. The crib bumper will be made by a lady that lives a couple of hours away but Kelly and I are tackling the crib skirt. Okay, so mainly Kelly is tackling the crib skirt but I will be her eager assistant. I wish I could sew. I can but if you want straight lines, you need to see someone else. I would love to take a class before the baby comes but I don’t see that fitting into my schedule right now. As soon as I’m sure the fabrics I’ve picked will work, I will share with all. And, of course, let you tag along on the sewing journey as we bring Jack’s room to life. But for now, I’m going to prop my feet up and give my son a much needed rest.

Toastingly Yours,

My Actual "First" Baby

Back in December of 1997, I moved into my first apartment with a sorority sister of mine. It was my first taste of freedom on my own but I knew there was something missing. Growing up, I always had cats and that was exactly what I needed to make my first place feel like home. Into my life came my “first” baby, finally my own pet in my own apartment. It was a little male grey/black tabby cat with the biggest ears ever. He was definitely a descendant of Dumbo. I was stumped for a name. After a couple of days of trying out Tiger and the such, it hit me when the Meow Mix commercial came on...Baxter. It was like the circle was closing because Baxter was also the name of my first Cabbage Patch Kid. Stupid, I know, but I love those little symbolic moments such as this. So Baxter became what my stepdad termed “the perfect kitty” and it was really true. He gave me unconditional love when I needed it, made me laugh when I was sad, and was and still is the coolest cat around. My roommate decided she wanted a cat too and by the end of December we had “Precious” a beautiful, grey fluff ball who was part Persian. She was about 6 months older than Baxter but he didn’t care. It was love at first site. From that moment on, they were inseparable. Luckily when my roommate moved, she left Precious with me which was a good thing for my love struck kitty.

Fast forward 13 years and Baxter is still by my side. He has weathered more with me than many of my friends. He’s survived and helped me survive 7 moves, marriage, divorce, remarriage, the death of all my grandparents, the death of his beloved, Precious, and now, he’s by my side as I expect my first child. If you’re not an animal lover like I am, then you will never understand the bond you have with your pets. I’m sure I would have made it through all of these ups and downs my life has thrown me alone but having Baxter with me has made them much more manageable. I truly think the hardest for him was the loss of his Precious. It was a sudden illness that took her from us 2 years ago and his world was thrown into complete despair. Never have I been so sad to hear the distressful meows he made for weeks after, as if calling for her to come back. I couldn’t even mention her name or he would begin looking around for her. It was truly a low point for both of us. But we have weathered the storm and even taken in a new cat, Annabelle. Although she will never replace his Precious, he loves to chase her through the house and you can tell that he’s happier. And today is a special day for him. It’s his birthday. Today, my baby (aka Big Kitty) turns 13 years old. Happy Birthday my sweet boy and thank you for all of the joy you bring to my life! Here are some shots of my beautiful baby.

Baxter getting cozy in Mary's car seat

Fat cat in a little box

Aww...so cute with the rabbit feet

My absolute favorite picture from when it snowed in early 2009

For those of you that may be on the fence about getting a pet, please do. I know it’s a huge responsibility but the rewards make it worth. If you’re still not sure, consider fostering. It will be a great way to find out if a pet is right for your family while you help make room for more rescues from animal shelters to be taken in. The animal shelter in Memphis is still so crowded and although the numbers have dropped, euthanasia is still happening way too often so make sure to adopt from a shelter. These poor pets won’t have a chance if we don’t fight for them. Even if you can’t adopt or foster, you can help by providing dog or cat treats, toys, blankets or volunteering. Whatever you can do will make a difference in the lives of these wonderful animals.

Toastingly Yours,

Hello, My Name is Shanda....and I'm a Worrier

If there was some type of Anonymous group for worrying, I would be a charter member. I can’t help it. It runs in the family. From the minute those 2 pink lines popped up on the home pregancy test, worry absorbed my thoughts. Miscarriage was at the top of my list. The problem is I love to research, especially when it comes to medical stuff, and I know way too much. I can quote you numerous statistics on miscarriage based on what week your pregnancy is in but I won’t. I would say I was around 8 or 9 weeks along when my worrying reached a whole level of insanity. Luckily, my “bestie” gave me a stern lecture at which I dropped into a puddle of hormonal sobs. I was actually on the way to the acupuncture when this phone call occurred and I cried through my entire treatment. I’m sure my acupuncturist thought I had finally flew one over the cuckoo’s nest. But it was the wake-up call that I needed to get a grip.

Now I’m 17 weeks along and I think I’ve felt the little weasel move a few times. Being that I’m on the “fluffy” side, I figured it would take longer for me to feel anything so I’m not panicking that I don’t feel it all the time yet. The first time I was sitting on the side of the bed picking up something off the floor. I felt a quick fluttering on my right side. I think it was saying, ”Sit up, Mom. You’re squishing me.” The other couple of times have felt like it was pushing off the sides of my uterus, kinda like when you do laps in a pool. Very weird. From the beginning, my husband has said this baby is a girl. I agreed with him originally but now I’m not so sure. I haven’t really had any pregnancy symptoms that would sway you one way or the other. No morning sickness, no acne, etc. But since finding out we have 5 friends due between November and March that are having girls, I’ve switched teams to thinking we’re having the lone boy. Hopefully, we will find out on October 22nd when we’re scheduled for our anatomy scan. Like everyone says, I really do just want it to be a healthy bundle no matter the gender. I just hope the little booger is cooperative and opens its legs. Feel free to vote on what you think we're having. I'll have to come up with some prize to give a randomly chosen participant who picks the correct gender. While we’ve picked up a few gender neutral things since finding out we're expecting, we have also made a couple of large purchases. Dave picked out the Pack n’ Play. We had a Babies R’ Us store closing in town so we got a good deal on it. I really love the grey and yellow colors and have even been thinking of doing the nursery in those for a girl but my spouse has obviously opened some type of interior design business because he says no way.
Our other big purchase was the crib and dresser for the nursery. We decided to go with the Kalani set from Million Dollar Baby in Espresso. Although I wanted the chest, too, we decided to wait and see how these pieces fit in the room because I have also got my eye on a fabulous glider that looks like a regular piece of living room furniture.


After all that we’ve been through this past year on our journey to become parents, it’s amazing to me that we are actually buying furniture. I mean, I have a live person in my belly. I guess with all my worrying and excitement, even, about this baby, I had forgotten one thing. I would have to tell a couple of dear friends that have been struggling with fertility issues longer than me that I was pregnant. It was so much harder than I thought it would be. They both took it well but one later confessed that she cried her eyes out after we hung up the phone. That broke my heart. I never in a million years would want to hurt either of these women intentionally but no matter how gently I broke the news, it did hurt them. Just like it hurts them when they run into people who question why they haven’t started a family. Many people are so insensitive with comments and can’t even fathom that infertility is the reason there are no children in a family. My hope is that anyone that reads this will consider what they say to someone before they start asking nosy questions about family. Choose your words carefully and try to consider that someone might be in this situation. Trust me. The person will be forever grateful you did.

Toastingly Yours,

Sur-prise! Sur-prise! Sur-prise!

In the infamous words of Goober from The Andy Griffith Show, we got a huge a surprise on July 5th. We're pregnant!!!



I've been sitting on this secret since which is why I haven't posted much. So here's the story of what happened that day. As you know we had our big July 4th party for family and friends so I was pretty tired. For some reason Monday afternoon, it dawned on me that I should have started that day or the day before. Or at least I thought so. In June, I never got a + ovulation test so I just assumed it was an anovulatory cycle since I've had a couple before. But since I am addicted to peeing on sticks since we've been trying to conceive, I decided to take a home pregnancy test expecting the same results as always. I had a few of the line tests in the cabinet so that's what I took. I did my thing and watched as the sample went across the test strip. To my absolute shock, a second line came up. I picked it up for a closer look. The line was faint but definitely there. I was shaking. I hadn't even told Dave I was taking a test so I came running and found him at the dining room table sorting baseball cards. I shoved the test under his nose and so eloquently stated, "Oh my Lord, I think we're pregnant!" He looked at me as if I had grown an extra head then took the test from my hand to look at it. I asked if he saw a second line. He said yes but it was faint. I told him it didn't matter how faint it was, it's the fact that it's there that matters. He said he needed to see a test that hadn't been peed on to make a definite decision. So back to the bathroom we went. I was a genius and had saved my "sample" on the off chance I needed to retest. I had one more test just like the first and one of another brand. I dipped them both in and sure enough, positive. He was still having trouble believing this was happening because we didn't put in our best effort in June due to the fact we thought I didn't ovulate. Needless to say, it only takes once is a very true statement. In an effort to convince him we were really pregnant, I suggested we go get some digital tests. Off on our field trip to Walgreen's we went. Armed with 2 types of digitals, we returned to our sample cup. Almost immediately, the first popped up YES+, then the second brand popped up Pregnant. I shoved those under his nose and asked if he still didn't believe. At that point, he began saying "OMG, OMG..." over and over again. I told him to knock it off. We looked at each other silently for a while trying to process the fact that the goal we had been trying to achieve for a year was finally happening and that our life was never going to be the same again.

Never in my life have I felt the variety of emotions I was feeling that day. I was shocked, happy, scared, and worried all at the same time. We called our parents who were all elated. I would say we stayed in shock for at least another week before we snapped out of it. Because of all the issues I have had, I called my doctor the next day. They told me I could come in for a blood test to confirm if I wanted to but after 5 + home pregnancy tests, they felt quite confident that I was indeed pregnant. I decided to go for the blood test. The same as the home tests, the blood test is checking for HCG (Human chorionic gonadotropin). The difference with the blood test is that it can tell you exactly how much is in your system. Most people do a repeat test 2 days after the first to make sure the numbers are doubling which indicates a progressing pregnancy. My first blood test came back at 90. The second came back at 338, well over the hopeful doubling. Dave immediately started saying we were having twins. I told him to shut his mouth.

I will fill in the blanks in the timeline since the 5th later but I'm now 11 weeks and 4 days with an expected due date of March 16, 2011. Festus, as my friend, Ann, has deemed it until we know the gender, is progressing beautifully. Right now it's around 2" long. Huge! I think we are still in shock to a degree but it's definitely becoming much more real. After my fertility doctor visit in June, I was beginning to lose hope. Then I had my birthday and made my wish when I blew out the candles. Less than 2 weeks later, God made my wish come true. I often wonder what was it in June that made Him decide it was our time. I am so thankful and blessed at the gift we have been given. Never forsake what God can do in your life. Stay tuned for the next installment.

Toastingly Yours,

It's So Hot, You Can.....

That's right people! You can fry an egg on the sidewalk. I generally enjoy living in the South most months of the year but July and August are miserable. Today is a chilly 102 degrees with a heat index of 114 degrees. It's nasty out there. It makes me wonder how our ancestors ever survived this tortuous weather. And they had to grow their own food at the same time. No refrigerators or fans or any air conditioners. So how have we evolved into a society of whiny babies who can't make it without the chill of the A/C? I ask this because I am one of the whiny babies. I think I shot out of my mom sweating because I am as hot natured as they come. I'm only 32 but I've been having hot flashes since I was 20. Absolutely pathetic. So while this post may not be long or thought provoking, it does come with a reminder. Make sure and take care of your pets in this weather and definitely check on any elderly neighbors who might be hesitant to ask for help if they need it during this hot time. Until next time with a hopefully much more exciting post.

Toastingly Yours,