Hello, My Name is Shanda....and I'm a Worrier

If there was some type of Anonymous group for worrying, I would be a charter member. I can’t help it. It runs in the family. From the minute those 2 pink lines popped up on the home pregancy test, worry absorbed my thoughts. Miscarriage was at the top of my list. The problem is I love to research, especially when it comes to medical stuff, and I know way too much. I can quote you numerous statistics on miscarriage based on what week your pregnancy is in but I won’t. I would say I was around 8 or 9 weeks along when my worrying reached a whole level of insanity. Luckily, my “bestie” gave me a stern lecture at which I dropped into a puddle of hormonal sobs. I was actually on the way to the acupuncture when this phone call occurred and I cried through my entire treatment. I’m sure my acupuncturist thought I had finally flew one over the cuckoo’s nest. But it was the wake-up call that I needed to get a grip.

Now I’m 17 weeks along and I think I’ve felt the little weasel move a few times. Being that I’m on the “fluffy” side, I figured it would take longer for me to feel anything so I’m not panicking that I don’t feel it all the time yet. The first time I was sitting on the side of the bed picking up something off the floor. I felt a quick fluttering on my right side. I think it was saying, ”Sit up, Mom. You’re squishing me.” The other couple of times have felt like it was pushing off the sides of my uterus, kinda like when you do laps in a pool. Very weird. From the beginning, my husband has said this baby is a girl. I agreed with him originally but now I’m not so sure. I haven’t really had any pregnancy symptoms that would sway you one way or the other. No morning sickness, no acne, etc. But since finding out we have 5 friends due between November and March that are having girls, I’ve switched teams to thinking we’re having the lone boy. Hopefully, we will find out on October 22nd when we’re scheduled for our anatomy scan. Like everyone says, I really do just want it to be a healthy bundle no matter the gender. I just hope the little booger is cooperative and opens its legs. Feel free to vote on what you think we're having. I'll have to come up with some prize to give a randomly chosen participant who picks the correct gender. While we’ve picked up a few gender neutral things since finding out we're expecting, we have also made a couple of large purchases. Dave picked out the Pack n’ Play. We had a Babies R’ Us store closing in town so we got a good deal on it. I really love the grey and yellow colors and have even been thinking of doing the nursery in those for a girl but my spouse has obviously opened some type of interior design business because he says no way.
Our other big purchase was the crib and dresser for the nursery. We decided to go with the Kalani set from Million Dollar Baby in Espresso. Although I wanted the chest, too, we decided to wait and see how these pieces fit in the room because I have also got my eye on a fabulous glider that looks like a regular piece of living room furniture.


After all that we’ve been through this past year on our journey to become parents, it’s amazing to me that we are actually buying furniture. I mean, I have a live person in my belly. I guess with all my worrying and excitement, even, about this baby, I had forgotten one thing. I would have to tell a couple of dear friends that have been struggling with fertility issues longer than me that I was pregnant. It was so much harder than I thought it would be. They both took it well but one later confessed that she cried her eyes out after we hung up the phone. That broke my heart. I never in a million years would want to hurt either of these women intentionally but no matter how gently I broke the news, it did hurt them. Just like it hurts them when they run into people who question why they haven’t started a family. Many people are so insensitive with comments and can’t even fathom that infertility is the reason there are no children in a family. My hope is that anyone that reads this will consider what they say to someone before they start asking nosy questions about family. Choose your words carefully and try to consider that someone might be in this situation. Trust me. The person will be forever grateful you did.

Toastingly Yours,