The Alien Has Landed

Well, it's just me but I sure look like an alien. Last night I had the pleasure of doing a sleep study. My spouse has been saying for over a year that I snore. I thought he was lying because I give him hell about snoring. I found out on a recent trip to Atlanta with my friend, Hollie, that I do, indeed, saw more logs at one time than loggers cutting down the rain forests in Central America. She decided it would be amusing to record my snoring. I'm not easily embarrassed and this recording made me want to crawl under a rock. Over the past year, my ability to sleep and actually feel rested has gone down the tubes. And after my trip to Atlanta, I've started waking myself up snoring. So in an effort to save my sanity and marriage, I conceded to do a sleep study. Here you'll see my accommodations.


When I arrived around 9:30pm, my sleep tech, Tiffany, started hooking me up with all the crap you saw in my alien shot. What you didn't see were the two sets of nose tubes that were put in and the electrodes on my legs. Not comfortable at all. So after a bit of reading, I settled in around 11:30 for some zzzz's. Falling asleep is not something that comes easy to me. It has been taking me a couple of hours to head to sleepytown and that was the case last night. After turning the lights back on and reading another magazine, I was finally able to go to sleep around 1am or so. Tiffany's voice came through the intercom around 6am telling me I was done. Unfortunately, she was unable to tell me if I quit breathing which indicates sleep apnea. She did tell me that I snored but was definitely not the loudest she's ever heard. That's good to know. I didn't ask if I cut the cheese during my sleep. Some things are better not knowing. At this point, I expect to have my results mailed to me within a week. I'm sure you will all be on the edge of your seats waiting to hear. Don't worry! You'll know when I know. My hope is that I do have sleep apnea, that I won't require a CPAP machine to fix the problem. Until next time....

Toastingly Yours,